Hitchin Band Fun Pages!
- What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
- Vibrato, though you can minimise this difference by holding the chain saw very still.
- It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.
- How can you make a French horn sound like a trombone?
- Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
- Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes
- How do you know when a trombone player is at your door?
- The doorbell drags.
- What is a gentleman?
- Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.
- What do you call a trombonist with a beeper and a mobile 'phone?
- An optimist.
- What is the difference between a dead trombone player lying
in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?
- The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
- How many trombonists does it take to change a light bulb?
- Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
- How do you know when there's a trombonist at your door?
- His hat says "Domino's Pizza"
- How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
- Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
- What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs?
- How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a trombonist?
- He doesn't know how to use the slide, and he can't swing.
- What is the dynamic range of the bass trombone?
- On or off.
It is difficult to trust anyone whose instrument changes shape as he plays it!